Zaire’s Dreams

Zaire, a beautiful white marble mastiff looked through an open window at a bright star. It excited and enchanted him, called him somewhere and promised him something important. The dog thought that if he looked at it a little longer, then something important and forgotten would be revealed to him. Time went on, but the illusion did not disappear. Zaire began to whine softly and to move his paws. Max, his owner, stood up and draw the curtain.
And only then Zaire calmed down, lied down on a mat, put his head on his paws and began to doze off. They had “a special relationship” with the star. After those “glimmer games” Zaire always dreamed the same dream with a sequel, where he wasn’t Zaire, but a man, just like his master. In the dream, Zaire talked, counted money, dived into dark water, rode in a car, and flew in the air under a large white cloth.
Maxim turned away from the computer, stretched himself, and looked at the dog: “Well, sad face?
Have the stars finished you off? Come on, I'll give you a bone.” Zaire jumped up, and wagging his tail, followed the master to the kitchen.
Tanya, Maxim’s wife, was ironing clothes in the kitchen while talking to a friend over the phone holding it between her ear and her shoulder. That gave her an appearance of being e a tiny bit paralyzed. “Tanya, where is the meat bone for Zaire?” —Maxim asked, hesitantly going through the stuff in the fridge. “It’s on the bottom shelf; wrapped in the foil. But, in fact, I’ve already fed him,” — Tanya made a face, covering the phone’s microphone with a free hand. “I know, but I want to distract him. After his moon and star contemplations, he whines all night in his sleep,” — Maxim replied, lowering his voice, and stretching the phrases so that Tanya would be able to absorb the information from him through the free ear. Tanya nodded, and pointing to their son Zhenya’s T- shirt, made an OK gesture. Maxim took the hint.
He chuckled, remembering how eight-year-old Zhenya decided that week to become a polar explorer. Therefore, he started to train Zaire for becoming “a sledge dog” of. For days Zaire “walked in harness” made of an old sledge. That left hackneyed traces of runners on a fluffy carpet in the room. Zaire, along with Zhenya, practiced turns following the orders “left”, “right,” and the order “forward” for several days. That could be the reason why the day before he huddled in a narrow gap between the sofa and the wall and sat there until the adults came home. Shortly before that, Zhenya was going to become a border guard; so he tried to turn Zaire into “a patrol dog.” In addition to the orders “sit” and “lie” that Zaire had learned much earlier, he had to learn two more orders that Zhenya attached special importance to for some reason: “die” and “crawl.”
Lydia Zakharovna, their neighbor, despite the fact that she was carrying a heavy shopping bag, ran to Tanya at a gallop in the street. She began to question her in a confiding tone about “who is with the boy by day?” and “what sort of games he is playing, and whom with?”
Maxim took the marrow bone with meat on it out of the foil. It was still warm and smelled appetizingly of meat broth. He put it in Zaire’s big bowl, and watched the dog with pleasure. The dog, with the slobbering mouth, was confused with joy about what to do; he was waving his tail and jumping like a foal. Finally, he pounced on his food with whining, and then growling like a lion. Tanya, having finished the phone conversation with her friend, turned around and saw a joyfully philosophical expression of Maxim’s face. She laughed and said: “Have you ever tried breastfeeding...? And what about Zhenya?” — “I wanted to distract the dog from his sad thoughts, but not to tire him out with someone else’s desires!” Maxim uttered. “That's right.
He will tire anybody out with his questions and requests.”—Tanya said, folding the clothes and removing the iron. Zhenya looked into the kitchen: “Wow! You’ve given him a bone. How he chews!” “Lets’ go to the room. Do not bother the dog while he is eating,” — Tanya started to push her son out to the corridor by his shoulder. “Dad, but when will you let me walk with Zaire alone?” — Zhenya wanted to draw attention to himself, and to stay at all costs in order to participate in that magnificent event. To hug the dog’s neck, to pull his bowl, to watch his reaction, to enjoy his dependence, the fact that he was the owner of such a big and intelligent dog... But Tanya firmly closed the kitchen door, and slightly pushing his son towards the room, said: “Zhenya! Why do you ask questions if you don’t listen to the answers? Only in my presence you asked your father this question five or six times. Do you remember what he told you?”
— I do. He said, “When you are strong enough to hold Zaire in a dash,” and “When you learn to have compassion for him and to love him more than yourself.”
— Correct. While right now, it’s Zaire who is taking you for a walk, and not the other way round.
— Mom, but I am already strong. I can do eight push-ups. And I love him... I stroke him...
— Dad will let you take him for a walk when you do a hundred push-ups. And when you resist to stroking Zaire for the whole month, no matter how much you would like to do it.
— Mom, but I cannot...
— Stop moaning. Go and train your own muscles and senses, and not the dog ones.
After disposing of the bone, happy Zaire sprawled on the floor and placidly closed his eyes.
Zaire’s Dream
It was dark. It was wet. It was late autumn. Four men came out of a large square car. One of them, wearing a marble-white raincoat, stayed next to the car.
The other two got the guns out and, pushing the third man in a white shirt, prepared to shoot. He was surprised but not scared. Turning around, he took the shots in his chest, looking straight into the eyes of the man in the marble -white raincoat. Already falling down into a pool, he got a gun out of a side pocket of his jacket and shot him with the words: “An ungrateful dog.” The man in the marble -white raincoat fell on his back and saw a bright star in the night sky. He thought, while dying, that he was worse than a dog, because he never knew what faithfulness and loyalty meant. He felt like laughing. Venus smiled him, softly flickering.
Maxim came back with Zaire from a morning walk, and told Tanya with an anxious and worried look: “You know, I’m afraid that he will run away again. He is looking for something or someone. Today I haven’t even let him off the leash. I was afraid that he wouldn’t come back like the last time. It was good that Slava helped us then.”
Tanya, wiping Zaire paws with a wet sponge after the walk, looked into the sad dog’s eyes and asked: “Do you remember how your buddy Sausage found you?” Zaire wagged his tail. They had a very warm relationship with Sausage, Slava’s dog. When they met, they joyfully rushed toward each other. At that, Sausage bounced like a ball on her short legs, and tried her best to lick Zaire’s square face waving her tail like a propeller. Zaire squatted, moved his paws, lied down and then crawled forward, pulling the muzzle and knocking his tail on the floor like a rod. A year ago, they brought Sausage to the place where Zaire got lost, and gave her to sniff his bedding. After winding through Moscow yards for three hours on her short legs that funny dog finally found him in one of them. He sat in a well-yard where houses were built in a circle and almost blocked the daylight. With a detached view, Zaire looked up at someone's windows....
 “Frankly, I don’t know what to do. Since the summer before last when it all started, we tried everything. Only a dog psychologist remains,” — Tanya said, retouching her eyelashes. “Zhenya, have you put the second pair of shoes in?” — Tanya rushed to her son's room, where he listlessly packed his school bag. “And do not forget the T-shirt, you have gymnastics today.” — “I know, Mom. I have already put it." — Zhenya closed the zipper with an effort.
— Why have you taken the breakfast out?
— It does not fit.
Tanya opened the bag, shifted and redistributed the books, freeing up a space, and squeezed the breakfast in.
“What do you think about it?” — Tanya looked into the bedroom where Maxim was tying his tie. “You know, if I didn’t take him myself when he was a puppy, if I didn’t see him grow up, I would have thought that the dog had had a different owner,” — Maxim replied looking pensively in the mirror.” “Or maybe he lived in this house before, when he was a man?”
Maxim put his jacket on and turned to look at Tanya. “I guess we all need a psychologist... Wait, there is something white on your jacket,” — Tanya uttered and taking a brush out quickly cleaned the jacket. Now her man looked perfect. She happily looked at him for a while. “By the way, you have one eye not made up yet,” — Maxim said, heading into the hall. “Zhenya, get dressed. Mom will be ready in a moment. I’ll drop you,” — he shouted to his son. “Psychologists, including dog ones, are unlikely to help us. They are investigating behavioral responses and social adaptation. And I think that we have something much more serious here. I guess the problem is much deeper. If someone helps us, that will be only God,” — Maxim said very seriously, looking into the bathroom, where Tatiana was finishing to make-up her eyes, giving the final touches. She saw his eyes in the mirror and felt satisfied.
Zhenya, finally fully dressed, rushed into the room, hugged Zaire, kissed him on the nose, and was the last one to run out of the apartment.
Zaire was left alone; he closed his eyes. He was very fond of Zhenya. He was born when Zaire was already five years old. Zaire counted him his puppy, too. He protected and guarded him, not allowing anyone to come close to him without a thorough inspection, sniffing and clarifying the intent. The general practitioner that came for a home visit when Zhenya was ill with angina had to open his bag and to give the dog to sniff everything that was there. Then he had to bear with his own sniffing over, and to examine Zhenya under a steady gaze of the dog’s eyes. But the second time Zaire let him through freely, wagging his tail as he were “one of his own”. Once, boys that were two or three years older that Zhenya started to bother him at school. They extorted lunch money from him.
He told them that he had no money with him, but he would bring some from home. He put the leash on Zaire and walked with him out into the yard. Zaire immediately understood everything. He didn’t hurt little kids but he liked to scare them. In short, the superior forces were on Zhenya’s side. Since then nobody touched him at school; they kept the distance. It was their little secret with Zhenya.
Zaire started thinking about their summer cottage where they would go for the weekend. That was what he called an expanse! Exciting smells, birds, butterflies, beetles, cats, Lizaveta the cow, Savely Ivanovich the goose, lots of kids that adored him, and a bright sky, where his star shines at night...
Zaire’s Second Dream
A bright light. A man in a white shirt sits at a table with his back to the light; that gives Zaire an impression that he shines. The man is happy. A beautiful girl sits beside him; she ruffles his hair and then scurries to the kitchen. There is a lot of food on the table. The man in the white shirt hasa party. Zaire feels pain, jealousy and hatred.
Why he has all, but Zaire always owes him money. Well, all right, he’ll soon fix it. The man in the white shirt raises his glass and drinks to his friend Zaire. Zaire again feels the pain and smiles, clinking glasses with him. At the sight of the other’s generosity Zaire always feels the pain and hate. He will avenge him for everything...
The dog woke up; his bedding was all crumpled up. Zaire drank some water in the kitchen, and then went to the window. He put his paws on the window sill, and started gazing at the passing by people. He wanted to remember something, but could not.
Zaire was very calm for a few days before the weekend. When he was out, he was studying new smells left by familiar and unfamiliar dogs, birds, cats, and humans as if he were bewitched. He readily ran alongside Zhenya’s bike on the boulevard, and chased squirrels and scared away ducks with enthusiasm in the forest park in Izmailovo. However, the age was already taking its toll.
After a night walk, he was ready to drop on his bedding. When Zaire was thirteen, he became a dignified and wise dog. It had been long that he did not allow himself to pull pranks like those in his youth. In the beginning, Maxim was shocked and didn’t tell anyone for a long time how Zaire used to amuse himself at an early age. In winter, when people wore fur hats, Zaire would gather speed, jump without touching a person, hit the hat with his nose, throw it down, and run away. Dumbfounded Maxim would ran up to the person, pick his hat up, and giving it back, apologized all he could. Usually, the person who had just experienced a breath of a large beast at his shoulders, and didn’t really have the time to understand what had happened, was glad, first of all, because it was a dog, and not what it had seemed to him. Secondly, the dog had an owner. Moreover, the hat was back with him... You would agree that anyone in that situation would consider oneself lucky.
When the man came around after the initial shock, Maxim and Zaire would be far away. What a surprise it was for Maxim when he inquired about Zaire parents’ behavioral peculiarities!
The owner of Attack, Zaire’s mother told him that his mother herself, her father and her grandfather were infamous for the same, and that almost all the puppies of the litter inherited this quality. Maxim was not the first person who called him on that issue. He also said that since that feature seemed to be genetically fixed, then there was no way to get rid of it, and that he shouldn’t terrorize the dog. However, it applies only to natural fur hats, which, fortunately, are worn only in winter. Maxim thanked him, drew his conclusions and reduced Zaire’s escapades to a minimum, trying to keep a track of the fur hats holding the dog on the leash. If it was hard for Maxim to determine whether the fur was natural, Zaire gladly helped him.
However, with age, the dog did it less and less, and then stopped to do it at all.
After an evening stroll Zaire parted the curtains with his nose, dived under the tulle, put his paws on the window sill, and lifted his head up looking for his star. Tanya, passing by the living room, saw his hind legs and tail sticking out from under the curtains, and looked at the window, too: “This is Venus, Zaire, the brightest star. It is the symbol of love.”
Zaire’s Third Dream
He stood alone in a bustling street with a sense of hopelessness and despair. People around him were scurrying about their business like ants in a big ant hill. He was the only one that did not know the way. Where to go...?
A brightly lit room. The man in the white shirt with joy gets up from the table and goes towards him. They are old friends. Surprised, Zaire embraces the man with a sense of relief and realizes that everything will be fine. His friend will help him.
On Friday morning Zaire was excited in anticipation of the trip to the countryside. Every now and then someone ran past him in a pleasant bustle. “Mom, I’ll take the helmet and the knee-guards. I’ll ride the bike there,” — Zhenya shouted. “Tanya, have you put the meat for the barbecue to marinate?" — Maxim asked. “And you, have you taken the skewers? Today we all must get out early, go home, pick things and Zaire up, and escape before the traffic jams start,” — Tanya was saying frantically, thinking whether she packed everything that was needed? “I'll call you as soon as I am free, and shall pick you up from work, so that we’ll pass by a supermarket,” — Maxim said.
— And you, Zhenya, get home immediately after the school, so that we won’t have to look for you.
— Of course, Dad.
They finally left at five o'clock. They were moving slowly in the traffic queue of summer residents, moving together with the same cars,
Zaire noticed a white fluffy lap-dog, and had the time to share signs of sympathy with her. It brightened the many hours waiting in traffic jams.
They have arrived to the country house late at night angry and tired. But after thirty minutes of silence, the air and the aura of the place did their job. After having a tea with raspberry jam and bread-rings the whole family plunged into a serene sleep. Bright stars were sparkling in the sky. But Venus was the brightest of all.
Zaire’s Dream
The man in the white shirt walks in the middle of the road toward Zaire and happily smiles. He does not see a black car flying at high speed behind him. Zaire is trying to warn him, but he does not hear, and continues to walk slowly. Zaire rushes to intercept the car and pushes the man in the white shirt away.
Zaire woke up happy. He rushed outside and happily ran through the wet grass. It was covered with dew. There was a thick fog.
That meant that day was going to be very hot. He would swim with kids in the pond. Zhenya woke up first and immediately got on the bike. “Zhenya, come back, you'll go after the breakfast when the fog goes” — Tanya ran out in a shirt and screamed after her already retreating son who struggled to pretend he didn’t hear. “Do not ride on the highway,” — Tanya’s words drowned in a milky-white fog. “Well, I’ll give him some good slapping when he gets back,” — Maxim said, coming out to the porch.
They had the breakfast; the fog lifted slightly. Another thirty minutes passed by. Tanya had got an uncomfortable brooding feeling. So when a neighbor came through the gate, she already knew: “something had happened.” “Tanya dear, please do not worry, but there, on the road there is something with your dog and your son,” — Marfa Ignatievna said, stammering. On the highway not far from their home, she and Maxim spotted a truck in the fog. The driver, white as ashes, stood beside it telling himself what had happened for the umpteenth time.
 “Haven’t I told the agronomist that I will not go in such a fog. And he: “You must, Yefimitch, help me out.” Smooth devil. I am going, shaking, the visibility is of two meters, not more. Suddenly this dog appears from nowhere. First, it was running alongside and was barking, barking, like crazy. And then, it suddenly has thrown itself under the car. I’ve stopped, walked out — what, there in the fog was a little lad on a bicycle, just three meters away. Our roads are bad. He has the front bicycle wheel stuck into a crack in the asphalt, and his foot with the pedal got jammed. And he, well, he could not have got out on his own. So, the dog wanted to warn me. But me, old foozle, I haven’t got it!” — The driver began to cry.
Zaire was buried in the woods near the cottage. On the way back to Moscow, all kept silence. The pain was so intense that it was unbearable to look at Zaire’s things. Maxim collected his bedding, the bowls, the leash, all his toys and tucked them away in the mezzanine. For all of them a different life, “without him” was starting.
Zhenya seemed to have suddenly grown up. That was the first real pain and loss in his life. For the first time he felt such a strong sense of guilt. He stood in front of the open window and gazed at Zaire’s star. Tanya quietly came to him from behind and hugged his shoulders.
— Mom, I have only now realized what dad was telling me. What “to have compassion for him and to love him more than myself” meant. Zaire loved me. He died because of me.
— Yes, he saved you. He died instead of you, because he was your friend, but not because of your fault. Zaire made his choice. He had a BIG HEART. He learned about love, loyalty and dedication earlier than you. You've got everything ahead of you. Do not look for whom to blame, there are none. Everyone makes one’s own choice. Sometimes their chain leads to a catastrophe, sometimes to pain, and sometimes to victory. Learn from the mistakes and do not repeat them. After all, that day you did something wrong. If you knew where it would lead, you would certainly have stayed at home.
If you knew that your unwillingness to reckon with circumstances forced the choice of two others: the driver and Zaire, you'd be certainly well aware of the danger and, anticipating the consequences, you would have not gone cycling on an unfamiliar road in the fog when a truck could drive by it, not for a million. Now you know it, and not from your mom’s words. You paid for this knowledge. Apparently, it was worth that much. Now you understand what love is. It is worth a lot, too. But you haven’t seen everything yet. Think again, otherwise you might repeat the same mistake. Think what the driver felt, when he knocked a living creature down, what he experienced when he realized that it could have been you? What he is reproaching himself for? And what was his mistake? What Zaire felt, when he realized that the other didn’t understand him, and there were three meters left? What mom and dad felt while you were away, and then, while running towards the road, and then when they saw the dead Zaire, and when they realized that you were alive? What the neighbor felt when she had to tell me the terrible news?
“If you’re able to absorb all this pain and feel it like your own, then you learned the lesson, and your life is not going in vain,” — Maxim said quietly, who came up and hugged both of them.
— Dad, this would mean that I am responsible for my actions.
— No. This would mean that you realize that since long ago you’ve been responsible for everything that you do.
Zhenya threw the last look at Venus and went to sleep.
Zhenya’s Dream
The man in the white shirt under a black jacket and the man in the marble-white raincoat sit at a table. They get along well with each other; after all, they are friends.
Sometimes a bright star is clearly visible the sky. It’s Venus.
Does it remind you of anything?
Marina Luch. March 04.
 Nakovkina@mail.ru